I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
