hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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