Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
