i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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