I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
