She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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