apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
