its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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