dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
