So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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