This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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