I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
