Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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