If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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