no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
