i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
