Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
