She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
