You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
