your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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