You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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