Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize