I accidentally burped into my bong.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
