He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
