found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
