Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
