Got a toothbrush?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
