Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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