before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
