dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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