I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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