Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
