hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
