Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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