This girl is more easily done than said...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
