she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
