I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
