he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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