guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
