Define "chronic" masturbator.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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