she looked like the before picture.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize