I puked a lego.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
