i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
