I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
