Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
