she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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