we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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