I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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