STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize