Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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