if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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