Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
