so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
