When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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