I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
