I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
