at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
