I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
