and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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