i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
