how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
